FR: Taking a Day Off (12/13/07)

12-13-07

Yesterday I “took a day off” and didn’t do any real gaming - didn't 'practice my art'. Didn’t work on anything at all, just relaxed with my sister and hungout with a girl friend. I failed to open a set at the happy hour spot we were at. Why? Felt mildly uncomfortable perhaps… wasn’t in my ZONE. I could totally picture myself going up and opening them, I had it down pat, I simply didn’t execute. Why not? I think maybe I figured it might be inappropriate with my sister there. Lame excuse. Who knows?

I think what it is is that on one level, a part of me is afraid to fully commit to this. To transforming, to becoming this new person, this Hero. It’s probably one of my last inner demons I will do battle with before my final transformation: face yourself. My old self must truly die in order for me to be reborn again. We’ll see.

Tonight my friend offers to have some ladies come thru. I'm down, but i was in my writer mode and writing about Group Dynamics. It was more important to me to finish what i was working on than go shower/etc. "Later for the girls..."

This was B-A-D.

It got me in some frame of mind where i TURNED IT OFF. I took a couple steps backwards toward my old anti-social self. And it showed.

Later when we went out after this club, i saw a HB9/10 girl outside of the club. A bunch of bums were around asking for change. Something clicked in my head and i walked over to her,

"excuse me. Could you spare 25 cents?"
My hands were in my pocket, i took it out and held it out. She looked at me and smiled as she dug in her purse for change for the REAL homeless chick who asked her for change. I was taking the interaction nowhere. I smiled and plowed.
"I'm trying to hustle up an Old E"
This was exactly what the other bum said to me. It was hilarious... She just smiled at me. I plowed more.
"No? How about this, my car broke down and i'm trying to get gas money..."
She's laughing now. At this point i should've asked her name and escalated. I didn't. She walked away, i smiled and turned my back.

Damn.

Damndamndamndamndamn. I was afraid to commit to the interaction. I didn't even TOUCH her. I didn't really feel any FEAR, i think my fear suppressant system still works and keeps that shit down, however i was still STUCK and didn't make my move. I didn't commit to the interaction, i was satisfied with just making her smile. I didn't PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER.

Shame on me.

Then later we see some friends we know. We roll over to them, one of them is a girl who's number i got a week or two back. She's hot. I re-open her, but i'm TIMID. What the hell is going on here? I'm totally being reactive to my environment and not redirecting the conversation. Instead, i'm engaging in other people's conversation and trying to dominate from within.

Now, this technique can and does work, but it's not the best. AND it's harder to do. I said to her,

"Come give me a hug, come be warm"
"I'm not that drunk tonight..."
Now, i SHOULD'VE said, 'you don't have to be drunk to be yourself around me', which is what i always say, and it even POPPED INTO MY HEAD...and yet, i hesitated AGAIN, and didn't say it. I KNEW that she needed attraction spikes and frame dominance. Instead, i closed my arms like a good little chode and tried to dominate from within her frame.

I was staying alive... barely. THEN my friend goes:

"Are those real?"
"what, my boobs?"
"No, your shoes"
"Uh, yeah... actually i think i wore these last time i saw you"
I pulled her close to me and said, "Aw, it might be time to get some new shoes ;)"
She took a step back with astonishment on her face, i recognized this was a self-esteem issue with her so i took the edge off:
"It's ok, they're still cute;)" I pull her back in for the hug. GAME ON.

Her friend comes over, she's totally the alpha female. Dominant. I read this right away and re-calibrated my opener to make it alpha-nice friendly. She goes for it. Well played.

I talk to the other friend, she's cool, friendly. For some reason i'm totally in rapport mode and so i'm just connecting with these girlz. At some point i'm walking my girl back to her car. I'm now clawing her in, my arm around her shoulder. Much better. However, i totally should've cavemanned her against her car and madeout with her. I failed to pull the trigger yet again.

Instead, we're in rapport, BSing about random stuff, where she's from and her past. I'm sounding TOTALLY chode UNTIL i add value by telling her my own stories related to hers. This works out much better and she opens up more and even asked me more questions. The evening is coming to a close and i leave. I text her to get home safely, and tell her that if i catch her in those shoes next time she's gonna hear it. She loved it;)

Lessons Learned

-You can't take a day off, you can't turn it off. This is who you are. TRANSFORM.
-PULL THE TRIGGER, ALWAYS!
-Plow and escalate, you'll catch your rhythm
-Oh, and when you're having a group of girls follow you home, one of you needs to get in their car!